Well, well. Here we are. I am now 30 and still obese. I was going to be grumpy about it, but for some reason, I’m feeling quite temperate this morning. So, onward and upward.

Monday, I did treadmill, weights, and physical therapy.
Tuesday, I did treadmill only.
Wednesday didn’t see any exercise. I can’t remember why just now, but there was nothing.
Thursday was physical therapy only, and cupcake baking and eating. Seriously, lots and lots of black bottom cupcakes were consumed. The shame.
Friday, I went clothes shopping with Olivia and Veronica. I planted V in the dressing room with a Gameboy and O and I scoured the racks. It was a really good time. I baked and ate some more cupcakes, and got ready for the party (which was fabulous, thank you).

Today I have a mild headache, and leftover Doritos and cupcakes, among other things. I’m not feeling too motivated today. Kind of tired from sugar overload and lack of the usual good food that gives me energy. I’m going to go out and play with my family today.

So, not the most productive week, but not a total loss in the exercise category. I always wanted to be thin by the time I was 30. It didn’t happen. I’m a little bugged about it, but not overly so. I’m still trekking along, making progress. I guess I feel grateful for the progress I’ve made, and I’m feeling grateful for the good things in my life right now. I’m happy. I love my family, my dog, and my cute little house. I have excellent friends. My health is improving, and through this trial I am able to help people.

Life’s a journey after all. What would be left to do if I’d reached all of my goals by age 30? I guess it’d be downhill after that, and 30 is much too young to peak. Know what I mean?

How was your week? How did you do? I’m going to go drink some water.

Mmmmm. Black bottom cupcakes. These little lovelies are going to be at the yarn store tonight for my birthday party. Are you coming?

I’m 30 today. I’ve never seen 30 as old, but it still feels weird being here. For some reason, I’ve always thought of 30 as “having arrived”. You know, like you should have life figured out by now, or at least a good handle on it. Like, financial security, stable career whose future extends well into the horizon (this would be referring to my husband’s). That is how I’ve always seen 30. What a joke. My logical self tells me that of course this isn’t realistic, but I’ve still seen it that way.

I’m here to say that 30 feels a heck of a lot like 29.

Fortunately, I’m not afraid of getting older. I’m afraid of my children getting older, in the sense that this brings them closer to leaving me (I pray that they will always LIKE me), but I’m not afraid of age itself. So I’m happy to be here.

Happy birthday to ME! If you would like to be with me in spirit on this fine day in May, listen to “Birthday” sung by these cuties.

I know I will be listening to it repeatedly, and most likely loud.

This blog has been going for exactly one year. My sweet Nate gave it to me as a birthday present a year ago, and here we are. Thank you all for reading and commenting. Thank you for your emails, helpful ideas, and teasing. I enjoy knowing you.

So, one year into it… Do you think I should freshen up the look of my site? Or should I leave it as is? Maybe change the colors around? I am undecided.

Getting down to business- it’s knit-along day. What have you got for us?

Corine has finished her Cable-Eight, and it’s GREAT! I always thought it would look good over another shirt, and she’s proved me right! Good job, Corine!

Michelle has done a cute Hayden, and has swatched for her Cable-Eight.

Thanks for the emails. Anyone else? If I’ve forgotten you, I apologize. Please remind me. I was talking about frogging mine last Friday night, when Nate asked, rather incredulously, “What!? Haven’t you READ your COMMENTS today?” So I guess I’d better give it another hard look before deciding for sure.

All that’s left is the washing! It feels good to have mom’s clogs done finally, but what I’m REALLY happy about is having one less bag of yarn stuffed between the couch and side table in the living room. My stash has been growing and spreading recently, and I need to be using it.

So, what’s next? Well…

Why not? Now that I have the hang of this shawl pattern, I might as well make a few. This one is intended for someone who has gone above and beyond the call of duty for me recently. And believe me, this gift is well deserved.

It’s a shoe.

I love this pattern. I know I continue to say it. But I do. It works up really fast. It’s ingenious. And although I had nothing to do with the pattern’s creation, I always feel brilliant after making one.

The sign-up for our stitch marker give away is now closed. I just finished compiling names, and I’ll do the drawing soon. There are 41 of you. I need to decide for sure how many names to draw. Postage is my only concern. You should know by now I have an abundance of markers! I really don’t mind spending the money, but it adds up after awhile. I still have some stamps left from the last one. I need to hunt them down and see what I’ve got.

See, I told ya! It is beautiful. It blocked out SO nice! Until I can get it on the recipient and photographed properly, that’s all your going to see.

So, what’s next you ask? Well, aside from wanting to make about a dozen more Flower Baskets, I thought I should probably give this a start.

Do you know what it is? Can anyone guess? Some of you who are particularly observant might remember the yarn and what it was intended for. No? Well, I guess I can’t tease you too much. I’m finally getting a start on mom’s clogs. It’s nice working with Lamb’s Pride again. Yummy, yummy yarn. And some of you who have been around awhile might recognize the luscious hydrangea in the background. She’s back! She should bloom for me this year. She played backdrop to many a knitting picture last summer, and here she is again. Spring is a beautiful thing.

On that note, have you all seen Larissa’s baby? Go have a look. He’s about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I already had babies on the brain. In fact, while on the treadmill today, I was dreaming of knitting for a baby. I’ve never done it. I’m anxious to. Who freaking knows when my back will be strong enough to support another pregnancy. Sigh.

The Flower Basket Shawl is done and soaking in the sink right now, getting ready for a big stretch. As it turns out, my numbers were fine. I’m just an idiot that can’t count. Here’s a picture with only a few rows remaining.

See how little yarn I had left? I had to spit and splice for the last row and a half.

Big surprise! More markers!

The markers on top are significantly smaller than the others. That’s because they’re sock markers! Aren’t they CUTE? I used a size 6 needle as opposed to the usual 10 1/2 to wrap the wire, and I used smaller and fewer beads.

I think I need to knit some socks!

Good morning! How is everyone? My week was pretty good.

Monday- I spent the day with a friend and didn’t get exercise in.
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday- 50+ minutes of treadmill, weights, and physical therapy exercises.
Friday- combined against me. I had things to do from the moment I woke up ’til 10pm. Exercise didn’t happen.
So today, I’m going to try for the treadmill, PT, and weights to bring my exercise up to four days. I did it last Saturday, and I think I can swing it again.

I’m up a couple pounds this week. I’ve been eating ok, so I’m thinking this may be increased muscle mass. I know I can feel it already in my pecs, quads, and biceps. I know I’m getting somewhere with my core strength, too. I’m FINALLY experiencing significant progress from these PT exercises. I would imagine my abs are looking pretty nice under all the padding. Wish I could see it.

And now, a soap box speech.

I’ve had some email correspondence with one of my favorite knitbloggers out there about exercise this past week. :-). I’ve had email conversations like this before with others of you, and as I was exercising last Saturday, I was thinking that it is something I’d like to talk about.

I love exercise. LOVE it! I haven’t always. Exercise used to be that dreaded activity that I’d just as soon avoid. Now, I’m about to spout opinion. I’m not an expert. Keep in mind that these opinions are coming from someone who is still obese. However, this obese person has been talking to people, trying things, listening and working on losing weight for over 10 years. I think I’ve learned a few things. (And this obese person DID lose 25 pounds last year, and kept it off, despite the major plateau she’s experiencing).

First of all, I’ve learned that everyone needs to find out what their particular body needs and is lacking. So keep that in mind. Secondly, with one three month exception involving the Atkin’s induction diet, I’ve always acted on my belief that HEALTH is the first objective, and the only weight loss I’m interested in comes through being good to my body, not abusing it.

Today, I only want to focus on ONE of the aspects of becoming healthy, which is exercise. If you want to read a long missive discussing many other aspects, check out this entry from New Year’s Day.

Exercise is certainly an acquired taste for most people. I think a lot of the problem is that when we start, we overdo it. We hurt ourselves and burn out. I had an aerobics class in my last year of high school that was wonderful. We had units. I don’t remember them all, but I know there was a jogging unit, a bicycling unit, a water aerobics unit where we walked next door to the pool… I know we did some things in the gym too, but I can’t remember what they were specifically. This class really opened my eyes to some things. First of all, the instructor was all about target heart rate. What we learned was how easy it is to go over without knowing it. In our jogging unit, we had to stop frequently to check our heart rate. Ridiculously so. I remember being annoyed and wanting to just get on with the jogging. During those frequent heart rate checks, I found that mine was above the “aerobic zone”. She made me slow down. I didn’t want to slow down. I felt I could go faster but she didn’t care. She made us slow down. The amazing thing is that I was able to jog longer than I thought was possible. Also, I found that my stamina increased dramatically, and it increased FAST. I couldn’t believe how quickly I was able to do more. That made such an impression that here I am, twelve or so years later and I can remember it like it was yesterday. Now, I know that some of the physical success happened because I was 17. Older bodies take longer to do ANYTHING than younger bodies do, but the philosophy works in age’s favor. It plays right into it. Pay close attention to your body. Listen to what it’s saying. Make adjustments. Slow down. You aren’t going to hate exercise, at least not as much, if you respect your body.

Example- I have a friend here locally that is very heavy. Her life is in serious danger in fact (and it isn’t anyone who reads this blog, so I’m not talking about you). She has a treadmill but hates to use it. When I was talking to her about why, she says that she just can’t do it. That after two minutes, she almost collapses. In talking to her further, she said that she’s trying to exercise at the speed and intensity that she worked out at when she was still the skinny little cheerleader in high school. I told her to slow down. To try for 10 minutes at a comfortable pace and then stop. This worked for her. She was able to build off of that .

I always want to jump in and workout too hard after being sick, or whatever else has made me stop exercising for awhile. I have to make myself slow down every time I start back up. Once I’m exercising regularly again, I don’t have that problem.

My Health teacher in 9th grade said that we should be able to hold a conversation while exercising. He said that if you’re too out of breath to carry on a conversion, you’re no longer working aerobically, and you’re working too hard. I have found that to be very true. When I’m in my target heart rate, I can manage a conversation amidst my breathing. When I’m over it, I can’t.

Another aspect besides intensity is duration. When I first started seriously walking, about four years ago, I could only manage 30 minutes. And I stayed at 30 minutes for some time. After awhile, I could tell that my body would be able to handle more, so I changed my route and made it 45 minutes. I’m currently walking on the treadmill for 50 minutes. If I weren’t also doing weights and physical therapy exercises, I know I could do it longer. But I can’t spend all day exercising :-). So now what I’m working up to is increased speed and increased incline on the machine.

It is widely said that you shouldn’t feel like death when you finish exercising. You should feel tired, but energized. My experience is that energization is of the mind, and it’s true, and I feel it. I have come to NEED it. If I stop exercising, I can feel physical awareness decrease and yuckiness move in. I love how exercise feels and what it does for me, regardless of the scale. (I didn’t think “energization” was a word, but it isn’t getting spell checked. Hmmm).

I know I can be long winded, but my POINT is that if you’re out of shape, start slow. Start slower than you want to. Even to the point of feeling like you’ve wasted your time. In the long run, it is so much more beneficial. You will feel better, you will progress faster, and you will be much more likely to continue exercising.

Of course I want to lose weight. But my motivation to exercise on a day to day basis isn’t exclusively weight loss. You don’t lose pounds every time you work out. There has to be another reason to do it on the days you’d rather not put forth the effort. I have come to love how exercise feels, and what it does for my self confidence and optimism.

I’ve learned a lot from you, and from many others over the years. Little things here and there that have molded my habits, opinions and philosophy. While I’m still obese, I feel much more educated and able to positively change my body.

There is so much information out there. It doesn’t all agree. I find it frustrating to know what to believe, what to try. I have found that trying different things and seeing how my body responds has brought my biggest successes. Working with my body as opposed to forcing it. Respecting my body. (That revelation came from a Yoga video). Working “in oxygen” or aerobically came from the high school teacher. “Working easier longer is better for weight loss that working harder shorter” came from the physical trainer type guy who sold me my weight system. Holding stretches for a full minute came from my PT. Drinking obscene amounts of water came first from a Kinesiologist (I ignored him) and second from my primary care physician. Little things here and there that I hear that ring a bell inside me. Something tells me to give it a try. Some things I dismiss, and some things I adopt and fit into my life.

I am reminded of the time last year when I couldn’t understand why consistently, after a great workout, feeling fabulous, I’d all of the sudden crash hard as soon as I stopped. I could tell I wasn’t over-working myself as I felt wonderful right up to the end. A few of you suggested eating protein before or after my exercise, and that made all the difference. Thank you!

I have certainly enjoyed this Health Group. I love the association with you all, the conversations we’ve had, and the help you’ve so frequently offered. Thank you, and have a great week.

How did you do this week? Tell us about it.

I picked up Cable-Eight yesterday in preparation for knit-along day today. I finished the first two skeins of yarn, and decided to measure.

(I know it’s upside down. I tried flipping the picture and it did very bad things with my sense of balance, so upside down it stays).

The sweater is measuring 18 inches across. That makes for a very small sweater. Even thin, I won’t be able to wear it. I have thought about making it for someone else, but I honestly can’t picture it on anyone I know. I’m going to have to frog. What’s the deal? I swatched. I measured. Bah.

On the plus side, it’s really pretty. The fabric is still dreamy, the color is still luscious… And I get to start all. over. again.

Tell me what you’ve got, knit-alongers.

In other news, I’m going to be thirty in a week. Yup, a week from today, yours truly leaves the twenties behind. Forever. No regrets. Well, there’s one, but I’ll probably save that for Health Group on the 21st.

I’m telling you this because I’ve decided to have my birthday party at my usual Friday night location, Columbine Yarns, where I’ve been hosting “Finchy Fridays” since October. Anyone want to come? It should be a good time.

If you think you might come, shoot me a comment or email so I can plan food accordingly, but RSVP is certainly not necessary. It’s a casual thing. We’re just chillin’ in a yarn store.

Oh, and one more thing… no gifts. I have a small house, and way too much stuff. If you are related to me, or a personal friend, and think you will just die if you don’t give a gift, I will happily accept donations to the “Laura Wants a Spinning Wheel” fund at the party. But PLEASE, don’t feel obligated.

I’m much more excited about making stitch markers than I am about my knitting projects right now. The Flower Basket Shawl frustrates me with the numbers issue, and I’m not sure how to proceed. The Cable-Eight is cool, but I have some thinking to do since I’m re-writing it. It isn’t going to fit me anyway, so I’m not overly motivated. The VCC seems very content piled in a heap on the floor waiting for sleeve cap surgery.

Nothing is sweet-talking me right now, except for these beads. I respond well to sweet-talking. Hence,

It may make for boring blogging, but it is good news for those of you who are in the gift-pool. I’m going to be gifting more than 5 of you.

In other news, I’m starting to feel up to writing out Lauralund finally. Thank you all for being so patient. As for the lacy Noro hat, well, that one’s still a ways out.