Not a good day.

I’m grumpy. I didn’t sleep well. Clark is fussy. Which is a lot of the reason I didn’t sleep well. The house is a mess. As usual. My frogs are dead. I’m not losing any weight. And I’m going to whine.

If you don’t want to hear it, I don’t blame you. Come back next week.

I’m trying to exercise, but it’s so difficult to get the opportunity. I have to do it when Nate isn’t working in the office, because that’s where the treadmill and weights are. I have to do it when Clark’s asleep or someone else has charge of him. In the morning when Nate isn’t working in the office, I’m getting the girls ready for school and tending to Clark. After Nate’s workday is done, I’m standing over the girls like a vulture so they get their homework done and I’m making dinner. And tending to Clark. After bedtime, I’m tired, and the house is trashed, and leaving the housework to go and work out is really hard for me. As much as I try, I keep feeling like I need to get the house tidy, the dishes done, the clutter picked up before I exercise. Which translates to never getting to exercise because I JUST CAN’T DO IT!

It’s so distressing to spend a day sorting, cleaning, and organizing, only to go to bed with it looking like I didn’t do anything. Do that for days at a time, and finally in frustration, I spend a day playing with yarn instead, all the while feeling guilty for not sorting, cleaning, and organizing. Then I’m so behind, there’s really no catching up. And I still don’t exercise.

I realize I’m being dramatic. Not every week is like this, but this one was. And I hate it. So I’m a big, mean, grumpy mom and wife today and heaven help me we’re going to get this house clean.

And Abby is going to miraculously get all of her school projects that she’s way behind on done, and study for a make-up test on forensics she’s taking on Monday. She’s going to be self motivated and get it done without me standing over her like a vulture because I’m going to be cleaning the freaking house.

And then, since we’re dreaming, all of the horrible, despicable people that are spamming my blog into oblivion will go away and get a life and leave my old posts alone. My email accounts will stop actively eating my emails, most of which I can’t retrieve on webmail. And the daisies will sway in the fragrant breeze on a warm summer’s day. Do you hear the little birds?

229.6. That’s my weight this morning. This is the second week now that I spend all week in the low 227’s, maybe even in the 226’s, but on Saturday, back up to 229.

I really wouldn’t mind if I knew I’d done my best to eat well and exercise. And drink water. (Wanna know what I had for lunch yesterday? Potato salad and pudding. Tell me I’m not depressed) But I haven’t. And the opportunity to do so eludes me.