I finally put a banner on my etsy shop and wrote a brief shop description on what my batts are about. I borrowed some equipment from my friend Carol to try to get good pictures of the batts… it hasn’t worked so far. It was my intent to take the softbox into my bathroom today to utilize the natural light, but after exercising, showering, running Veronica to Barnes & Noble to use her gift card, taking a phone call and feeding Max… all the daylight hours were spent. So I’m pouting a little bit because tomorrow isn’t looking good for daylight free time, either.

I’m not feeling very patient.

We’re taking Clark to the doctor tomorrow because I can’t get him to eat. He’s a walking sack of bones and I’m really getting worried about chronic malnourishment. The few things I could count on him eating (peanut butter sandwich, chicken, turkey lunchmeat, eggs, apples, grapes, canned peaches…), he no longer eats, with the exception of an occasional peanut butter sandwich, no jelly. I went and bought Flinstones Gummies the other day. He’ll eat those.

I know he’s hungry. He’ll ask for food in a general sense, but doesn’t actually want anything specific. He never eats dinner. He’ll come to the table looking all excited, take a look at the food, whatever it is, and leave. There have been days where the only thing he’s eaten the whole day is a quarter of a peanut butter sandwich. Three days in a row. A few times, he’ll ask for “food”, reject everything I have to offer, and then he’ll just look at me and cry. Not a tantrum cry, a sad, desperate sort of cry.

It’s heartbreaking, and I’m going crazy.

So, I don’t know what the doctor will do besides send us to Children’s Hospital for tests and evaluations that we can’t afford. Which brings me to a topic that I can’t talk about too much without getting angry. We buy the best health insurance available, which is better than the best that is currently offered ’cause we’ve had ours some years now. We pay through the nose for it, and at the rate it increases every year, it’ll soon be more than our mortgage. And yet the coverage isn’t good enough that I can take my kids in to the doctor when they need it without worrying about how we’re going to pay for it.

And that’s wrong.