I’m actually writing this on Thursday night instead of doing something critically important, like packing for Oregon. It won’t post ’til Friday though, because I don’t tend to like posting twice in one day. So here it is…

I’m really not one to yell at my kids

They might disagree, but really, they have no idea what it means to be yelled at. If I’m grumpy at all, in their mind, I’m yelling at them.

But if I get anywhere close, it’s after the long, drawn out process of getting them into bed. And it’s kind of unfair to them because it isn’t usually any one of them that drives me nuts, it’s a matter of sheer numbers.

When the kids go to bed, I do things. I’ll be cleaning up (shocker), or merely moving around the house. If I walk by their bedroom for any reason, I get this…

“Mom?”

“What?”

“Do you think that sometime we can ….. (fill in the blank with something completely random and ridiculous)”

“I don’t know. Go to sleep.”

Silence. I take one half step before the other bunkbed pipes up.

“Mom?”

Sigh. “What?”

“I’m firsty.”

“Go get a drink, and get back in bed.”

I might make it into my room at this point, and on the way back down the hall the other bedroom chirps,

“Mom?”

Louder sigh. “What?”

“I need you to fill out this thing for school tomorrow morning. It was due two days ago.”

“Fine. Remind me in the morning. Goodnight.”

Pause. One step later. “Mom?”

“What?”

And someone launches into an obscure story I’m barely able to, and even less in the mood to follow. I usually interrupt with something like,

“It’s an hour and a half past your bedtime. Go to sleep.”

“But can I just finish…..”

“No. Goodnight.”

And then I’m done.

“Mom?”

“FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, WHAT???????”

Pause.

“Nevermind.”

Every night is like this, I swear. The only thing more irritating is when I don’t in fact end up walking in and out of my room at night. It becomes too much for them, so they have to bring their contrived emergencies out to me and every single one of them is back out of bed.

People may joke about using shock collars, (you know, for dogs?) on their children. This is not very funny, and I’d never. However, I did learn one thing from dog ownership that is directly applicable to, and effective with children and that is….

Squirt bottles.

I admit, I use them. It’s a tremendous stress reliever. It’s non-violent. I usually end up laughing. After screaming, so do they. Good times all around. And they tend to quiet up and stay in bed. Just sayin’.

Now that I’ve ranted and mellowed out some from bedtime and after bedtime, (and the kids are even dry), I can talk about Abby’s graduation. It was lovely. She was lovely. Fortunately, she sat right in front so I could see her.

Max has finally had it and is screaming on the floor. Time to feed the baby.

I’m in Oregon today, I’ll be back on the blog Monday with tales of rug braiding. I’m so excited.