I exercised once this week. Didn’t eat well.
My days always START out well. Once late afternoon hits however, all my resolve goes away. I wish I knew why, because in the mornings, it’s truly easy to eat healthy and avoid bad things.
I’m not weighing myself.
I’ve had a hard time getting back to no sugar, which is a shame, because my skin is returning to normal. That’s not a bad thing, but I’m disappointed in myself. I was interested to see what continuing with the cut in sugar would do for me outside of weight loss, or lack thereof.
I’m going to continue to work on exercising, cutting sugar and eating healthy, but I can’t focus on the pounds anymore. I don’t seem to be able to control them, no matter what I do, and it irritates me. I know this is a totally yo-yo attitude for me, but this week, I’m swearing off the scale again. I truly appreciate your tolerance with me. You’ve been excessively kind.
To be honest, if I owned a sledgehammer, my scale would be in little bitty pieces right now. As it is, I spent a considerable amount of time this week thinking of something else I could sufficiently smash it with, to no avail, so instead I just fantasized about obliterating it.
That was almost as good. It made me smile.
I contemplated just going out to the driveway and throwing it repeatedly against the concrete, then stomping on it…. but I live in a neighborhood, and although I don’t make a habit of altering my behavior for the sake of others’ opinions of me, I thought that a public demonstration like that is something I’d come to regret.
Besides, if I removed myself from the situation and pictured it from the bystander’s perspective, seeing a middle aged, overweight woman going postal on a digital scale on her driveway seems pathetic in a way I didn’t want to attach myself to.
For the moment, the scale is safe. Besides, Clark likes to play with it.
All of this being said, I feel good. I’m not depressed. I’ve felt pretty all week, and I’m excited that I’ve (at least this week) given up waiting to shrink to knit another sweater for myself. I’m going to dye and spin up that romney, and make a nice, big, roomy sweater. For me. The way I am now. And it’ll look fantastic .
October 20th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Hey Laura:
I hear you about wanting to destroy your scale. I would love to do that myself!!!! LOL !!!!
I half to watch what I eat too and cut the sugar. It is not easy.
I hate to exercise which I should be doing.
Your blog so makes me laugh!! I enjoy reading about what you are making. It really makes my day!!
Jean
October 20th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
I’m telling myself that I don’t care about my weight, only how the kilos I have work together in this thing that is my body. Turns out it works pretty well as long as I do some basic maintenance, and I’m very thankful for having a machinery that rolls along allright. And these machines perform even better in handknit sweaters!!!
And. You’re 32. Since when did 32 become middle-aged???
October 21st, 2007 at 2:58 am
love it. 🙂 I think that you have an awesome sense of humour about a really difficult topic. (And I’m glad that Clark likes the scale. :-)) Can’t wait to see the sweater!
October 21st, 2007 at 9:42 am
Oh Laura….if you’re middle aged then I’m in trouble! I’ll be 35 in 2 weeks. Does that make me ancient? LOL.
I personally would have loved to see someone else in their driveway killing a scale. It would SO justify my feelings towards mine as well. Mine has decided to die all on it’s own accord. It lucked out. We do have a sledge hammer!!! I have been exercising a bit but the diet has been blown all to heck. I seem to have a 2 week tolerance for everything these days…then I give in.
I am totally sick of waiting to knit a sweater for me as well. I’ll make one along with you if you want. I really need something for myself besides socks. I have been thinking of doing a cardigan. I can’t wait to see what you make! You’re right…it will look gorgeous. As usual :o)
October 22nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Middle aged?!?!? Girl, you have about ten more years to go.
I think you look beautiful. Plus we are about the same weight and the same build (and nearly the same age), so I could be biased.
Silly 😛
October 22nd, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I thought I was the only one that has been waiting to knit a sweater for herself. Although when asked why I don’t knit for myself, I usually skirt around the issue of my size. I say that I don’t have the patience to knit adult-sized garments, but that is only partially true. I am a fan of figure-hugging sweaters and I don’t think my favorite styles will look good on me right now. However, I agree with Laura that we need to dress the bodies that we have now to make ourselves happier.