Sun Mar 9, 2008

Health Group- Year 4, week 35

Well, it was a good week, not so great of a weekend. I’m not breaking momentum though. I figure, two good weeks is halfway to a month, and a month is an accomplishment. I’m working towards a month, then we’ll work on 6 weeks.

I ate pretty well, avoiding sugar (’til late Friday night, and Saturday, and, uh, Sunday too) and I exercised every day. I feel good. My skin is better.

My wheatgrass is ready, I’ll start juicing it tomorrow.

I’ve noticed a couple of things. Firstly, my motivation and determination seem to be directly linked to my menstrual cycle. I’m always gung-ho about a day or two before my period starts and that’s when I tend to initiate. It’s gotten kind of ridiculous in it’s predictability because it isn’t intentional, but it’s consistent. (And yet, it continues to take me by surprise which brings my intelligence into question).

It HAS to be a hormonal thing.

Interesting…

Also, I’m scared. I’m scared of a lot of things.

I’m afraid of losing momentum and quitting, again, and feeling like a total loser, again.

I’m afraid of NOT quitting, only to find out that what I was sure would work for me won’t. Then what do I do?

I can’t decide which I’m more afraid of, but I’m feeling extremely fragile. And it isn’t that time of the month. If it was, I wouldn’t have caved this weekend.

I take consolation in the fact that if I wasn’t working on my body and my health (inconsistent and inadequate as my efforts may be), I’d unquestioningly be in worse shape than I am now.

And that’s something anyway.

And that’s my update for the week.

One Response to “Health Group- Year 4, week 35”

  1. Stephanie Says:

    I’m getting to the point that I’m really scared. I’m scared that I am keeping gaining weight and NOT caring. NOT doing anything about it and NOT wanting to. I dieted 2 months ago and have gained it all back. I haven’t exercised in ages and I can feel it. I’m out of breath ALL THE TIME. Yet….I still don’t care. I keep feeling useless and hopeless and like “why should I even try”. I love that you keep yourself in check most days. MOST DAYS is so much better than NO DAYS. You are human. I’m human. Ugh. I keep telling myself….maybe tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I’ll feel like caring. But then tomorrow comes and I start the day with a big bowl of corn flakes and it all goes down hill from there. Not exactly stellar. Sorry…I’m venting now too….because I know you’ll understand 🙂 Keep fighting the good fight Laura. We love you for it!

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